Monday, April 16, 2012

Storms In My Life.

Source: google.com via Marcie on Pinterest



Things have been going on in my personal life for the last few months that I've not had the heart or understanding to share with my readers. Those who know me in *real life* know the difficulties my family has been experiencing. I'm wanting to be as general as possible, issues surrounding these trials are so deep and I'm not ready to open up for the world web critiques at this time.

Generally I will say my husband, who is an amazing man of God, has been through the wringer. He has stood for Truth and Love and Convictions and has lost our only source of income because of it. That is not the most difficult part, its the aftermath: the gossips, lies, rudeness, letters and the hurt that will take so much time and grace to heal.

I've experienced so many emotions I never expected but at the same time I have come to understand God in different ways that I never could have if I would have just been sailing along as prior to these trials. Tears will dry up for days and then they will flood again. At the root it's tears for so many things. Many treasures and idols hidden in my heart have and are being exposed to me.

The past 5 1/2 years have been focused, preparing and then entering into the ministry. It was our hopes, our dreams, our calling and our delight to serve in the church the way we were. It is all gone, for the time being. We are now having to reorient our entire life practically with our vocations during this season. I'm learning once again, that my identity is found in something that is not fleeting, in Christ. My identity isn't being a Pastor's Wife, a mom, stay at home mom, homemaker or anything else but who I am because of Christ.

With a heavy heart I rejoice and trust the Lord during this season of my life when so many things are unclear, uncertain and unknowing. Even though the unknown is difficult it is in this that I am learning the Goodness of God even more.
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6 comments:

  1. i'm sorry for the pain. but amen to the things God is teaching you! prayers for you and your family today.

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  2. I don't understand all of what you're going through. I understand the feeling of free-floating and wondering where you'll land. God is faithful. Hold tight to Him.

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  3. So sorry! Hang in there and trust that the Lord has great things planned for you. He is always good! Praying for you.... :)

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  4. I am so sorry for what you are going through! My husband was a pastor once, and it ended with a lot of tears, sweat and pain. God has used that season in so many ways in our lives, but it truly was a season that I pray I will never have to re-live. Cling to the cross and trust His goodness during these hard days.

    Thanks for your blog; I really enjoy it and will look forward to seeing how God shapes you through this time.

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  5. I've only just discovered your blog, but was moved by your post. I believe I've experienced a similar pain as a pastor's wife and have recently found incredible healing and hope in the fact that our suffering absolutely creates deeper fellowship with Christ. Also, the Lord does use His faithful, through the ugliness that can come out of this world, to highlight His glory. I can't explain it, but I have a feeling you know this from experience or soon will. Praise God for God. He is truly the greatest blessing.

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  6. So Sorry you are going through this. I never understand this sort of thing. God bless you and your family.

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