Thursday, November 15, 2012

UnVeiling Expectations in Adoption (part 2)



It's November. Its National Adoption Month! I hope you have read my previous posts on adoption and especially yesterdays on the beginning of my series 'Unveiling Expectations in Adoption.' I want those who are pursuing adoption to be prepared, as much as one can, for this difficult and delightful process. There are many 'trials' leading up to your child being apart of your family and after trials as well.  Yesterday, I explained 5 expectations that we might have of others that are mostly unrealistic. Today, I'm using the same 5 expectations on the other side, 5 things that people will do to help. It's the same list but in complete reverse!



5 Ways Others will help:

Some will understand.
When my husband and I first began telling people about our plans to adopt we were bursting at the seam with joy. We waited several months to tell people and when we finally told people we expected them to be just as excited. Some where but some were not. They didn't understand why we were adopting. But, at the same time we had families whom we never new adopted take us out to dinner and encourage and rejoice with us. We had family who were jumping for joy to be 'grandparents' for the first time, even through this 'unconvientional' way. We had family who wept and were encouraged in their faith that we were going to  pursue orphans to bring into our family. What a delight and breathe of fresh air. So many people won't understand but lots will. Chances are they have been praying for orphans and adoption care for years and rejoicing that they are going to be apart of it in some way.

Some won't be  leery at all. 
Expect family, friends, co-workers to be leery. People, by default, are leery of the unknown. At the same time, some of your friends, co-workers, church members, family won't think it's weird or odd or question it at all. They won't ask you tons of fertility questions, "We didn't know you were trying" "How long have you tried to have children," "Are there any other options?" They will simply not question what you are doing but rejoice that you are growing your family and giving orphans a mother and a father. Be thankful for them. Love on them and tell them how much you appreciate their support.

Some will really want adoption to happen.
Along those in your life who won't want this adoption to happen there will be those who stand out and want this adoption to happen. They will pray for you, call you, send you letters because they really want you to pursue adoption care. They will want this for you and your future children, they are able to see beyond themselves and their questions and want this to happen.

Some won't ask rude, uncalled for questions
People will ask rude, uncalled for questions. Just expect it. Don't let it bother you. But, as stated earlier, there will be people who won't. They won't ask anything except, "What do you need?" They will simply rejoice with you and for your future children.

Many will help
When a mother is pregnant others will come out of the woodworks to help and there will be those who will do the same for a family growing through adoption. Some will plan meals for family for a few weeks so that you can focus on your new additions and not have to worry about cooking on that stove. Some will throw you showers, ask for specific ways to pray for your family, rejoice with you publicly and stand by you and meet any needs you may have.


Rejoice when people do the above things. Not everybody will. We must be realistic in our approach and expect people to respond differently. No matter how your family and friends respond pray for them. Be patient with them and try to help them see why you are doing this, in a graceful manner. Pray for those who are willing to help, pray they will gain an even more understanding of our adoption in Christ. Rejoice and be grateful for their help, encouragement and support!


Other Stories from My Adoption:
My Daughter's Story.
My Son's Story. 



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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Unveiling Expectations in Adoption Series



This month I'm sharing lots of stories, tidbits, and helps on Adoption. November is a busy month preparing for holidays but it is also National Adoption month and I can't overlook it. I've shared with you my Precious Daughter and My Courageous Son and today I'm sharing expectations from others.

 In life we all have expectations. Some expectations are okay such as drivers not driving drunk but sometimes unrealistic expectations can really hurt us if others don't do what we expect of them. A major issue in adoption is having lots of expectations of others. When they aren't meet it can create family and friend drama, discord and hurt relationships.

 Please, be patient with others around you. Most at the beginning won't understand, most will be leery of your adoption, some won't want it to happen at all, some will ask rude questions and some won't help you at all. I've found that this  for the most part only happens at the beginning of your adoption process. People are uncomfortable with the unknown and adoption is a huge mystery and unknown for most people in your life.


Expectations from Others:

Expect others to not understand
When my husband and I first began telling people about our plans to adopt we were bursting at the seam with joy. We waited several months to tell people and when we finally told people we expected them to be just as excited. Some where but some were not. They didn't understand why we were adopting. Why we would adopt before we had 'biological' children. Why we would want to do such a thing. Someone told us that these kids would never be 'fowlers' because they didn't have 'fowler' blood. Relax, give them time. Pray that they would see the Gospel and our adoption  through Christ. My response, by the way to the 'blood' questions is that, "I'm a Fowler" for life. My family is the Fowler family. It's apart of me and yet I have no Fowler blood. I was not born a Fowler but became one through marriage.

Expect others to be leery 
Expect family, friends, co-workers to be leery. People, by default are leery of the unknown. What will this look like at Christmas, you are bringing two more children in, spending has to go up, more birthdays, more room at the table and so on. Expect others to be leery of their behavior not being appropriate and scared of how they might act.

Expect others to not want it to happen
Believe it or not expect others in your life to not want adoption to happen. Again, many people just fear the unknown and what it will look like for them. With pregnancies they can expect the outcome, 9 months of waiting and then comes baby, and several years before dialogue and it's a long process before they are older. With adoption you can gain an instant baby, three year old or older child overnight.

Expect others to ask rude, uncalled for questions
People will ask rude, uncalled for questions. Just expect it. Don't let it bother you. Predict the questions, prepare for them and prepare to respond, creatively and with humor. In my hometown I've been met with lots of questions because my son is now 8. I've had people tell me, "I thought you disappeared your senior year!" I just laughed after the third time I heard that. I actually would have disappeared a few years prior to my senior year to give birth to a now 8 year old and I didn't disappear, I just co-opted my senior year so I was only in school half a day! In some ways adopting a child from a different ethnicity is a little more easier for people to understand without asking questions but having a child from the same ethnicity and your yourself looking young anyway will prompt lots of questions.

Expect others to not help
When a mother is pregnant others will come out of the woodworks to help. They will bless them with showers and send meals after the birth. They will expect the family to be MIA for a while. With adoption don't expect others to jump through hoops to help. Reality is it's new for them and a lot of times they just don't think of ways to help because they have never been in this situation.



Pray for them. Be patient with them and try to help them see why you are doing this, in a graceful manner. It's easy to be defensive and angry that they don't understand why you have such a heart for those who are orphans and how we were all once orphaned but don't. Love them. Help them. Pray for them. Minister to them in every way possible. 




Tomorrow a follow up post will be posted. I want there to be an understanding of expectations of how people might react negatively but also encourage you with the ways people with react positively. I've had lots of the list above, the rude and hurtful questions but I've also had so many who have encouraged me with not asking 'those' questions and loving on me and my kids!




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Monday, November 12, 2012

Adoption Month.




November is busy. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and Christmas is around the next corner. Traveling, shopping and our normal everyday tasks to be complete but there's something I don't want to over look, Adoption Month. November is the 'official' adoption month. 


I want to share my story, again, and give you information and stories from other families who have had the privilege of adopting! If you have any questions or want more details about adoption please, please, please e-mil me directly! I've only adopted from foster care but I'm in a church that has adopted from just about every where in the world so I have tons of resources to help!






Just in case you missed it here are a few posts I've shared on Adoption.



Sharing my daughter with you, her life before Adoption, a testimony of grace.







Photos 1, 2, 3 & 5 taken from Rebecca Johnston Photography.


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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Weekend Reads.


Hope your weekend is going well! I blogged {almost} every day in October and enjoyed it but, this week has caught up to me! I'm planning great things for November, including Homemade Christmas gift ideas, ways to simplify your stressful holidays and lots of posts on Adoption! Stay tuned! 'Like me' on Facebook if you haven't already, or subscribe!



Christians, Let's Honor the President - Dr. Russell Moore

Excellent reminder that even if we are against the standards, views and positions of our elected President we are called to honor him. 


Parenting Is Hard for a Reason- Christiania Fox on The Gospel Coalition
Read this article and soak it in, parenting is hard for a reason. The difficulty of it is pointing and exposing our own sin, which we so desperately need!

Reality Mothering- Nicole Whitcare on Girl Talk Blog
Unveil the reality of mothering, see that your worst moment shouldn't be compared to other's best moments displayed on social media or other means. Pin It Now!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Things Worth Writing Down


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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Refabric your Chair (30).


How refreshing would it be to sit in this? My crafty cousin is letting me share this project she made, she did a great job turning a normal chair into something fabulous! 

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Monday, October 29, 2012

Unwasted Homemaking #39



Welcome back to the Unwanted Homemaking Linky! I'm excited to party this week and see all of your amazing ideas! I'm looking for features on my blog so make sure link up as many as you want ;). Check out some of the link up's from last week:

Fall Porch from Second Chance to Dream

DIY Infinity Scarf from A Modern Day Fairy Tale

Delightfully Free from Always Learning

This recipe is gluten, dairy and sugar free!



Get ready to party {Homemaker's style}. If your a blogger...
Please Link back in some way ;)
Keep it related to Homemaking... which only excludes a few things. Any recipe, family tradition, devotional on homemaking/mothering, cleaning tip, craft etc

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Friday, October 26, 2012

Homemade Teacher Gift (26)


Loving this idea from my Crafty Cousin! She made this for her kid's teacher, what an awesome gift! This would be a creative and thoughtful gift for the teacher's in your life! Homemade Christmas gift?



Linking to: Women Living WellTime Warp WifeRaising HomemakersWomen in the Word Wednesday
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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Before and After Book Shelf. (25)




As newlyweds my husband and I purchased cheap bookshelves, being the college students we were we needed places for those books but didn't need to put out a lot of money. We settled on the traditional black compressed saw dust ones. They have honestly lasted 6 moves! After our 5th move they were in the garage ready to be tossed, I didn't like the black anymore and they were not in the best shape. 

Enter in Chalk Paint, duck egg color, by Annie Sloan, a transformation had to be done! So, I painted and am in love with these old book shelves again! They will not be moved to the trash, ever, if I can help it ;).

For some of my trash to treasure pieces (see bench transformation) I used a base coat of Old White Chalk Paint with the Duck Egg on top. These book shelves only received duck egg but I think it turned out great anyway! As you can see in the second picture the first coat will not cover everything. Don't worry. Let it dry for about 30 minutes and then paint your second coat. After the second coat dries, put on clear wax and sand to you're liking. I did quite a bit of distressing on this piece. 

linking to:
Furniture Friday (miss mustard seed) Pin It Now!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Pottery Barn Kids giveaway.


I usually don't promote a ton of giveaways on other blogs but this one is amazing and I want ya'll to enter for a chance to win! Its pottery barn kids, you know it's awesome! Head over to Perfectly Imperfect and leave a comment and you will be entered!  Pin It Now!

Homemade Army Playground (24)





How awesome is this? I can say that because it's not my idea but my cousins! She has graciously let me take a few of her creative ideas and share them with ya'll! The story behind this is her son wanted some kind of fort for his little army men and out came this all boy's army playground! I'm loving the bunkers, the walls, plant life and flag! How cool is this? I'm thinking my son needs this for his room now!



Linking to: Women Living WellTime Warp WifeRaising HomemakersWomen in the Word Wednesday
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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Quote on Reading (day 23)



This entire month I've been sharing things from my home front. I've spent several posts on books because in my home I try place a heavy focus on books.  I tend to read about an hour each morning before my little ones get out of bed, I read to my children throughout the entire day, my son reads to me, we read after dinner together, we read, read and then read. I'm in love with reading and I hope it only gets stronger everyday. 

Although I may not be able to strike up a conversation with the late reformer Martin Luther, John Calvin or Charles Spurgeon, or drink coffee and ask questions to Elyse Fitzpatrick, I can hear their thoughts and glen from their wisdom through their books. I loved the quote from Roald Dahl about throwing away your tv and installing a book shelf. The point is that each time we watch something it is impacting us, in some way. Although watching TV isn't bad, I think the time and content consumed are something we should continually be evaulating. Read, read, and then read, establish routines throughout your day where you read. I used to not read at all. I would have to force myself to read 15 minutes a day. Now, I enjoy it and can choose it over other things easier. Oh, and the books in the picture are at a local bookstore, thought it was gorgeous! 

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Chalk Painted Pumpkins Day (day 22)


I can't quit painting everything in sight with my Chalk Paint from Annie Sloan! When I unboxed my fall pumpkins I thought they could use a few coats of Old White paint to look a little more shabby chic! What are you decorating with for autumn? Check out my other post on my autumn decor right here!

Linking to: Women Living WellTime Warp WifeRaising HomemakersWomen in the Word Wednesday

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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Unwasted Homemaking Linky Party



Welcome back to the Unwanted Homemaking Linky! Yes, it's been a while. Life has been more hectic than it ever has but I'm a bit more settled now! Our Adoption is complete, homeschool has begun and I'm getting more and more back into blogging! I've actually been blogging each day for the entire month of October! Here are a few things I've been blogging about:


Get ready to party {Homemaker's style}. If your a blogger...
Please Link back in some way ;)
Keep it related to Homemaking... which only excludes a few things. Any recipe, family tradition, devotional on homemaking/mothering, cleaning tip, craft etc



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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Autumn Decor at My House (day 19, 20)



Here are a few ways I've decorated my home this fall season. On top of my fake mantle I've used my Chalkboard. Chalkboards are always a must when I decorate, I can't get enough of the classy look which can fit any occasion! This year I've added the cute little box with the fall trees in bloom behind the youngsters driving in their classic car! I snagged this from my grandfather who found tons of old avon cologne bottles at an estate sale. I actually have the originally cologne bottle which is the yellow car in the picture but it's in my homeschool decorating. 


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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Election Day Party. (day 18)


Election Day is fast approaching! Last election day I had a small get together of college friends to watch the polls. Basically, we ate and watched the polls. Sounds boring but it was fun! I can't find the pictures but here some ideas for decorating for this election day!

Table decor.


Simple Patriotic Lemonade











Before the questions begin let me just say that I won't be dining outside this year, these were decorations for another party we had in the summer!

What are you doing this election day?

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

From My Home Front (day 17) Autumn Crunch Toast


I'm loving autumn this year. We had a l o n g hot, hot, hot summer in Kentucky which makes fall so much sweeter! My kids can't get enough of this simple autumn crunch toast, who would have know?

 Super simple just toast your wheat bread, spread peanut butter all around, sprinkle on granola, raisins, nuts, spread some honey on top and sprinkle with cinnamon! 

Ingredients:
Wheat Bread
Peanut Butter
Gnola
Rasins
Nuts
Honey
Cinnamon


If your a blogger, don't forget to Link up at my Homemaking Linky Party.

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