Undefiled Marriage Bed

“Marriage at its exquisite peak of pleasure speaks powerfully the truth of covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. And that love is the most powerful force in the world. It is not surprising then that Satan’s defeat, Christ’s glory, and our pleasure should come together in this undefiled marriage bed.” {This Momentary Marriage pg. 135}

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What a beautiful thought, that when your marriage bed is undefiled Satan has a defeat, Christ is glorified and you receive pleasure. Although I’m almost certain that an undefiled marriage bed isn’t simply refraining from sexual relations with someone other than your spouse, I do think this is a major issue in defiling the marriage bed between you and your beloved.

Two actions that can lead to a defiled marriage bed when pertaining to sexual issues outside your covenant are not giving yourself to your spouse and engaging in ‘women porn’.

Give yourself to your spouse.

Please actually take time to consider how much you deny yourself to your husband. Are you annoyed when he tries to pursue you in sex? Are you frustrated when you undress and he watches and likes it? Don’t be! This is a good thing. I’ve noticed that women tend to become annoyed at their husband quickly after marriage with those two things in particular but please know that God has designed that typically men have more of a physical need/attraction to sex, and it’s not a bad or dirty thing. When we give ourselves to our husbands unreservedly {grandite there are times when your sick or when it’s not possible} you are helping to protect and keep your marriage bed undefiled. Ladies, when we aren’t giving ourselves to our husbands Satan will be able to strongly tempt him in this way. image via

Destroy your porn.

I know many of your reaction are that that’s something you have never struggled with and you want to skip to the next paragraph, but will you stick around? Dr. Russell Moore has brought up some amazing insight into ‘women’s porn.’ He explains that women are destroying their marriages because of the porn in their life that they don’t even see. Want to know what he says this is? Fiction Novels. {Please put down the virtual boo noises and keep reading} In the Christian circles secular fiction novels are well agreed upon as being raunchy and laced with affairs but, what about the ladies who have moved on to the Christian fiction novels and don’t read the secular filth? {image via}

Does your ‘Christian’ fiction novel portray a man whose the godliest of them all? The romantic, ever so selfless, always helping around the house and the best spiritual leader the world has yet to see {Puritans can't even measure up}? Does he run to his wife’s aid and pray for her every need and never become frustrated when she does something wrong? The answer is probably yes, most Christian fiction novels portray this ‘perfect Christian’ man. {image via}

Do you see the danger in this? The danger is that 'he' doesn’t exist. Just like we’re never going to always portray the Proverbs 31 woman our husband will never live up to perfection. When you read those novels or even watch some movies that do the same, you can begin to be discontent with your spouse. Frustrated that their not more romantic or leading in more prayer time with your family and began to fantasize {have thoughts} about being married to that guy. Even though ‘that guy’ may not be a real person, don’t you think Satan can pick up on your discontentment and put a guy that seems like your fantasize guy in your way?

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May we be reminded that we must fight for our marriage bed to be undefiled, may we not idly sit back and let weeds grow up to the point where we destroy our marriage, yes there is much grace and forgiveness even when this occurs but, save the heartache and save the name of Christ so He can be gloriously displayed when your covenant is kept intact.

{ This Momentary Marriage is an excellent book to read, although I thought it was simply about marriage it is so profound at getting to the root of issues in marriage. You can download a free copy in PDF form here, or purchase it here for $6.99}

{I’m aware that I said maybe two not so nice words {Sex and Porn} but, I believe that it needs to be said, if we deny these things they don’t go away they just come our way unnoticed and lead to temptations that will end in tragedy.}

Do you see the issue of wives not giving themselves to their spouse as a problem?

Do you notice the tendency of christian fiction novels to cause wives to fantasize about someone other than their husbands?

What are some ways you try to guard your marriage bed?

I'm linking this: Women Living Well, Time Warp Wife, Raising Homemakers, Women in the Word Wednesday,We are THAT Fam

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